So my fellow military spouses, ever started a friendship with someone who later turned out to be not exactly the kind of friend you desired, for lack of a better word, a little crazy? I have. A few times. I was younger, dumber and more trusting (to the point where I was friends with a hooker). Now I’m older and I know the red flags to look for in someone who is toxic.
If your new friend shows any of these red flags it doesn’t mean she’s automatically a crazy and she can still be crazy even if she doesn’t meet any of these.
1. Has no friends from “before” whether this is before the military or from the last duty station. No friends typically means bridges were burned. Sometimes this person doesn’t even have family that they talk to. I don’t want to say run… but maybe you should. No one who is 100% innocent is disliked by everyone they’ve ever met, and they should have a few people they have connections with. If they don’t, wonder why.
2. Always a victim. At first if you are a bleeding heart like me you might think “OMG this poor girl, her life seems awful” but after a while you will see it for what it truly is.
3. Is weird about you hanging out with other friends or if you are new to the duty station (or town or college or whatever) discourages you from meeting new people.
4. Hits on your husband, even in a joking manner. I don’t think I even need to say this one.
5. Drama seems to follow her. You’ve only known this girl for a short time, but hot damn she has had some issues. Whether other ladies, or her landlord, or her own husband.
Have you ever missed the red flags and had to deal with the consequences?